Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
