My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
