I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
