Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
