Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
