It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
