Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
