when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
ok first of all what the fuck
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
