i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
