His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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