Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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