Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
