i don't like sucking hair
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I am naked and annoyed.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
