Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
