what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
