the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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