Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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