My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
