how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Everyone says I win the strip club
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
