The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
