shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
