32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
