I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
