if only i could text you this smell
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
