apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
