I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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