He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Randomize