I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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