things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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