...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
