If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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