ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
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Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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