Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My vagina just clenched in fear
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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