my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
