I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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