words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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