Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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