I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
