Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
