So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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