I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
