Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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