Already got asked if we're dating
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
