I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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