shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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