so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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