Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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