someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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