just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He is an equal opportunity slut.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
