dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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