i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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