she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I need to calm my uterus...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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