Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
