THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
