Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
