Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
