similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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