I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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