eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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