areolas are like halos for boobs.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
