I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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