How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You pole danced in your parka.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
