he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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