this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
