I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
